Behind these Emerald Eyes
by Corinthus
Summary: Songfic. Kelly Clarkson's Behind these Hazel eyes. One sided story on RikkuxGippal relationship. Rikku's POV..R&R! and no flames please


A/N: YAY my first fanfic… this is sort of RikkuxGippal….but sort of one sided…it's probably just a one shot but I hope you enjoy it

**Disclaimer:** The characters and setting belong to Square-Enix (DAMN YOU SQUARE-ENIX!) and not me… also the song "Behind these Hazel Eyes" belongs to Kelly Clarkson

The Celsius was tearing through the sky headed to its destination. While all the other Gullwings members were inside preparing for their arrival, Rikku was out on the deck looking towards the airship direction. She could see the thunders encircling the temple. She had a blank stare as she reminisced her past with _him_.

**Seems like just yesterday  
You were a part of me  
I used to stand so tall  
I used to be so strong  
Your arms around me tight  
Everything, it felt so right  
Unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong**

She remembered the time when she was actually going out with him. When she was actually Gippal's girl instead of Cid's girl. She was so happy, she felt protected, and at that time she really thought that they would be together forever.

**Now I can't breathe  
No, I can't sleep  
I'm barely hanging on**

She sighed. 'You're pathetic Rikku. I thought you were over him.'

_You're not. _

Ever since they departed that day on Luca, Rikku kept having dreams about him and wake up in great disappointment. Her dreams were calming but haunting at the same time. And because of that she barely got any sleep these days.

**Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these hazel eyes**

"Rikku! We're here! Let's go!" Yuna called her cousin as she entered the deck. "You okay?" Yuna's faced turned into a worried frown. She knew her cousin was struggling through something but she could never pin point what.

Rikku turned around and gave her cousin a warm smile "Of course, Yunie!"

_There you go lying again Rikku… _

'But I can't let anyone see me not happy' Rikku retorted to the little voice in her head**  
**

_Why not?_

**I told you everything  
Opened up and let you in  
You made me feel alright  
For once in my life  
**

Rikku followed Yuna down the elevator in silence, still having the Machine Faction leader in mind. Her and Yuna headed out to the exit. Rikku remember the one time she openly cried in front of a person – none other than Gippal.

It was exactly a year after Rikku's mother died and Rikku missed her dearly. She was crying silently alone, when Gippal walked in on her. He held her all night calming her down, and that's when they shared their first kiss.

**Now all that's left of me  
Is what I pretend to be  
So together, but so broken up inside  
'Cause I can't breathe  
No, I can't sleep  
I'm barely hangin' on**

After that she didn't cry in front of anyone. She couldn't. Even when Gippal left her, she just ran to her room and cried herself there. **  
**  
**Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these hazel eyes**

Rikku gripped tightly along the railing for support. This is the first time they're meeting Gippal after then defeat of Vegnagun. She felt her heart ready jump out of her chest, or just seize beating and give her a heart attack. She was overwhelmed, it was ten times worse than the last time she saw him with Yuna and Paine.

**Swallow me then spit me out  
For hating you, I blame myself  
Seeing you it kills me now  
No, I don't cry on the outside  
Anymore...  
**

YRP stepped out of the airship and headed towards the Machine Faction and found Gippal flirting with another al bhed woman.

'Typical' Rikku muttered in her head, rage and sadness filling up inside her.**  
**

"Hey if it isn't the Gullwings!" Gippal said as he raised his hand as acknowledgement. "Here for the Bikanel Mission papers?"

"Yup." Yuna replied.

Gippal eyed Rikku and noticed her face expression isn't what it used to be, she seemed a lot more mature and was obviously going through something.

Rikku looked around the faction, trying to find anything that would make her look away from him. 'Stop looking at me!' She was ready to just burst into tears.

_Are you mad?_

'Why should I be? We're nothing special anymore.'

_You sound mad. _

'Well I'm not'

_Why are you mad?_

The voice in her head was pushing her over the edge. She wanted to run and grab Gippal and just cry, punching, and yelling at him for what he has done. She wanted to tell him how much he has hurt her when he just left her for the Crimson Squad. She wanted to know how he could just pretend that there was nothing between them. She wanted to hurt him as much as he has hurt her.

_But you let him go. You didn't say bye or that you'd miss him. You're just as bad as he is._

Rikku calmed down her emotions and simply whispered, "Forget it."

_Don't. There still may be a chance._

'Memories are nice but that's all they are… We'll never be together again. I'll get over it sooner or later.'

**You won't get to see the tears I cry  
**

"Yoo-hoo! Cid's girl! You okay?" Gippal waved the papers in front of Rikku. Rikku snapped out of her trance and looked directly into Gippal's eyes.

Gippal was taken back by her glance, there was definitely something different.

Rikku noticed Gippal's reaction but gave him a soft smile to assure him that it was nothing.

"Yea…it's nothing" Rikku grabbed the papers and walked away.

**Behind these hazel eyes**

A/N: R&R Please!


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